From start to finish, here’s a condensed version of my 19 years of existance….
I was born on July 13, 1997 at approximately 11:55 PM at the good ol’ Victoria General Hospital after my patient parents had waited for around 12 hours there for a doctor to come pull my stubborn upside-down ass out of my mother. I was a small little shit (just like I am now) at only 5 lbs and 9 oz and grew to be a bundle of toddler energy; back then my favourite things were getting dirty in the mud, manufacturing my own washroom facilities in the mud (I had a prolonged anal stage – click the link if you don’t know what that is – as later on my friend and I proceeded to make an official outhouse under my deck and her deck at our houses), eating, and playing with my stuffed animals and my real animal…my beloved black lab/german shepherd cross, Mocha, whom I considered to be my big sister (I am an only child).
In September of 2002, I entered Kindergarten at St. Patrick’s Elementary School where I would be the class’ animal attraction…I basically was Simba from the Lion King for those 10 months. That move was all I would talk, think, and dream about; there was one girl in my class that I was pretty good friends with and I think I basically made her my Nala (dyke alert!); I married my aunt as well and got her pregnant with one of my lion stuffies (I think I had about 6 of them at the time). This phase of my childhood lasted until about grade 2, the next stage for me was hockey. My aunt and uncle had recently bought me a Canucks jersey (the away jersey of the 1997-2007 orca) for my birthday with my last name and 97 on the back. Being a typical impressionable 7 year old, I began to watch hockey with my uncle and Dad from time to time and eventually was begging my parents to let me play hockey. This process took a good 2 years as my mother didn’t approve as she had reservations due to a son of her coworker’s that ended up with severe brain damage from being bodychecked. By the time I was 9, I had worn out my Mom and was signed up for hockey at Oak Bay Rec on Sunday nights (it wasn’t an official league – basically a cheap way to make sure your kid actually wanted to play the sport…like I needed any convincing…pffft…always has been my mother’s ideology to try things out before really buying into them; makes sense of course to an adult, but to a child it’s like “WTF mom, y u no trust me!?” A buddy of mine and I played together at the weekly hockey sessions – we were two peas in a pod and lived our hockey obsession throughout the next 6 years making youtube videos of us shooting orange balls at each other and even a horrible quality music video spoof to the “Edge of Glory” for the Canuck’s Stanley Cup run in 2011 until our friendship ended at around grade 10 that was brought upon by our gradual loss of touch through being at different schools, his various girlfriends and the death of his father that seemed to (understandably) be the event to lead him to having a lack of interest to hanging out with me. I played hockey for the Victoria Ice Hawks from 2007-2015 where I enjoyed 8 seasons of teamwork, losses, wins (but mostly losses…Victoria isn’t exactly the best team on the Island in minor hockey!), roadtrips, team dinner, and of course lots of laughs.
I have digressed a bit into my hockey career (if you can call it that) and shall go back into the main details of my elementary school years. At age 7 I finally convinced my Mom to let me get my hair cut short like I’d wanted it, this is when I fully embraced being a tomboy and wearing the boys’ clothes I’d always liked to wear. It wasn’t all rosy though as my mother and I would have many arguments about what I was wearing as she hated when I got called a boy. My aunt would back her up to and some days I’d just feel so alone and out of place. I remember this one time that my Mom caught me standing up to pee at a Red Robin’s in Vancouver and she was super pissed off at me; I was pretty embarrassed. At this age, I mostly had male friends. Thankfully, they accepted me and included me in their games; a lot of them actually thought I was pretty cool being a girl that liked things that boys did. There were the few bullies at school but they were the ones that bullied everyone, not just me, so I didn’t take it personally. By the time I was 10 going on 11, I had began to experience more gender dysphoria as I started to go through puberty. I wanted nothing to do with boobs as I loved parading around shirtless and despised the idea of wearing a bra; in this situation – like many other non-girly girls did.
TO BE CONTINUED… there’s a lot to write here so I’ve been slowly adding stuff over time.